Sneak Peak - Teleseminar Coming Soon

I am really excited to share this news with you. Starting this coming Friday, your ADHD newsletter is taking on a new format. In addition to the layout changes of the newsletter, the content has been completely redone too. It is now more "user friendly" with specific sections - some just like you might find in some of your favorite magazines.

As a bonus to the newsletter content, I am going to be offering a FREE follow-up teleseminar on the "Topic Of The Month."

This month's topic: Attitude!

The purpose of the call will be to answer any questions related to the content of the newsletter.

To sign up in advance, just enter your name and e-mail address, below. You can also ask your most pressing question about your child's attitude and ADHD.

I know you haven't seen the newsletter just yet - but I wanted to offer my valued readers and regular subscribers plenty of time to sign up.

You'll get your first all new "Symptom Free Ezine" this coming Friday afternoon.

Sign up today and ensure your space on the call.

Rory F. Stern, PsyD

Emotional & Physically Exhausted - ADHD

Well, here goes another "video" message. I am really enjoying this new technology and being able to connect with you via different mediums.

Anyway - Today I wanted to talk to you just very briefly about emotional and physical exhaustion.

After focusing my energy and resources on the "big game," I crashed this morning and did not have enough energy to focus on what I needed to do at home and at work. I was too "burnt out" from exerting and spending too much energy focused on the big game.

Check out the video message - I think the message speaks for itself.





As always, you are encouraged to post comments and questions below. You are also more than welcome to contact me directly.

See you soon!


Rory F. Stern, PsyD

Testing Out Video On Blog

I am finally trying video out today!

I have been thinking about trying "video" out for so long, and somehow I have always managed to stay clear of it. Well not today! While out on a walk with my wife today, I decided that today was the day.

Today I was going to take the plunge and get a video up on the Internet... no matter what it took.

And you know what? I had a blast doing this!

Please take a minute to listen to this message, and let me know what you think.





I really would love to hear your thoughts on next week's "Newsletter" topic, as well as your thoughts about what I have to say about "The Perfect Season!"

Rory

Super Bowl, Superstars, & ADHD

It's no surprise that most of the modern world (global community) will be tuned into the same one television program tonight.

Heck, you might even be one of the millions (if not billions) of people watching tomorrow night's NFL Super Bowl extravaganza.

I know I will be glued to my television set tomorrow afternoon and evening. Living outside of Boston, I have a very strong interest in watching history as my local team strives for a "perfect record" (not perfection, but a perfect record).

On top of that, I absolutely have to watch the commercials. I live for Super Bowl commercials. It's the one time of year advertisers compete like crazy to get your attention.

Reasons to watch the Super Bowl:

Football

Half-Time

Commercials

Watch History

Family Time

You see - while millions and millions will be glued to their televisions tomorrow night, many of us will be doing it for different reasons.

And the same is real for people struggling with ADHD:

Inattention

Hyperactivity

Impulsive

Bored

Unorganized

All Over The Place

Strength

Natural Cures

The above list takes the very same idea of who watches the Super Bowl, and why, with the hope to show you that ADHD means different things to many people.

While we might all agree that ADHD affects the brain and how people are able to function, individuals with ADHD all experience their symptoms differently and might even go about managing them differently.

But the real lesson here is that you might see your ADHD differently than the next person.

And that's ok!

PS - I mentioned something about a perfect record:

Oh yea - and let's not forget that in tomorrow's Super Bowl - the New England Patriots are pursuing a "perfect season." Notice, they are not a perfect team - just good enough to be going for a perfect record.

The difference:

The perfect record is a result of fighting, working hard, determination, and persistence. They never gave up. But they did make mistakes!

Man Of Science Or Faith?

LOST Returns Tonight - Will You Be Watching?

For those of you who are avid followers and fans of the television show LOST, tonight marks the long-anticipated return of one of television's most exciting shows.

While watching Wednesday's repeat of the 3rd Season Finale - I was reminded of two very different approaches to viewing the mysteries of the Island!

Science Versus Faith

Jack Versus Locke

Both men are noted leaders of the survivors of Oceanic Flight 815 - and yet both could not be more different in how they lead others and inspire those who look up to them.

So what type of man or woman are you?

When it comes to ADHD - Do you follow science / medicine or do you believe in faith?

Are you someone who believes that the answers lie in medicine?

Or do you believe that there are other ways?

Do you follow the research?

Or are you more interested in reality?

More About "The Truth Behind ADHD"

When I started writing this blog - I had a pretty good sense of what I wanted to talk about, and where I wanted to go.

It all started with the idea that there are many truths behind ADHD. It doesn't matter whether you are a parent, spouse, partner, child, or sibling of someone who has ADHD - there is a great deal of misinformation.

The TRUTH Behind ADHD started with the idea that there is more to ADHD than just what is on the surface. Not only do we have to struggle with symptoms, consider treatment with medication, but we also have to consider every other area of life that is impacted by ADHD:

1. Relationships
   
2. Family
   
3. Work
   
4. School
   
5. Groups
   
6. Self-esteem
   
7. Media influence
   
8. Society
   
9. And much, much more...
   

The point is this - ADHD affects so much more than the individual person who is diagnosed with the disorder.

Heck - let's not even call it a disorder. I downright hate that term. ADHD is a grouping of symptoms that can either help you or hurt you.

Help - learn how to manage and use your personal strengths to find success.

Hurt - use ADHD as an excuse and do nothing.

This all leads to the original "truth" I posted about when I started writing. The original truth relates to finding the root cause of our underlying problems.

ADHD is not it folks - there is always something more... Some other stress in our lives... Some other source of discomfort...

And we cannot forget those.

The "new" Truth is that you are surrounded by too much information about ADHD. You are provided with information that leaves you:

Overwhelmed

Confused

Uncertain

And possibly even misguided...

Well, no more.

The Truth Behind ADHD will make sure you get the right information, from the right sources. And even then - we are going to question everything.

Oops - I Skipped Over Chapter 2

I don't know how I did it - but it looks like I skipped right over reviewing Chapter 2 for you all. Oops!

I am so glad I caught this, because Chapter 2 has some great content.

Chapter 2:

"Parenting Doesn't Cause ADHD - Genes Do."

Dr. Monastra reviews and dispels some of the major myths around parenting as a cause of ADHD. Well, as you might be wondering - parenting or parenting style does NOT cause ADHD.
Instead, it is our genetics that we pass down which is said to be responsible for ADHD.

Much of the remainder of Chapter 2 is spent talking about the very scientific, technical aspects of what is believed to cause ADHD. There are some interesting points in there - but when you are looking to help your child, this is NOT the part of the chapter that does it. However, I cannot stress enough the importance of digesting this information so you can understand what we believe causes ADHD.

Perhaps the most useful part of Chapter is towards the end, where Dr. Monastra discusses effective treatment. In his opinion (and I agree), effective treatment includes a combination of techniques.

This can include medication (but NOT always), along with therapy, education, social skills classes, parenting classes (to learn strategies to help your child), and the development of a communication channel with school professionals to better assist your child with his or her learning habits or struggles.

Well - that's it. I must say there were some really GREAT strategies mixed with some very powerful content. Just watch out for the technical part, and focus on getting a general idea of how our bodies work and this relationship with ADHD.

In closing, I want to add that this content is reviewed from Dr. Monastra's book, "Parenting Children With ADHD." Like in previous posts, I have pulled out what I have found to be useful and important. However, there could be incredible information that I overlooked which might pertain to your individual situation.

Disclaimer:

That said, I always want to share that I added the part about medication not always being necessary. Remember folks, medication can and does make a difference with many children struggling with ADHD. And - as always, please do not make any changes without first speaking with your treating physician, psychiatrist, therapist, or other direct care professional.

Parenting Children With ADHD - Chapter 3

The more I get into this book, the more great content and strategies I am exposed to and become aware of. I also have to say that Dr. Monastra does an excellent job really explaining some tough level concepts that often can go overlooked. For example, he talks about specific ways that medications work and how to gauge whether or not they are making a difference for your child.

But that's not all!

Chapter 3 is titled: "Medications Don't Cure ADHD."

This is a pretty important statement to consider. There is NO CURE for ADHD. In fact, there is no agreement among professionals about what the exact cause of ADHD is. That said - medications are only known to help people with ADHD better manage their symptoms the world around them.

Key points and lessons in Chapter 3:

• Medication should NOT just be prescribed. You need to consider the impact of a child's dietary habits, weight, and additional factors.
• Doctors should really account for the child's daily activities (sleep patterns, diet, medical conditions).
• Different types of medications are reviewed - what they do, how they work, and why they are different.
• How to start out on medication and ensure you have the right dosage.
• Why it is so important to track behavior patterns.
• The importance of protein in your child's diet.
• Emphasizes a TEAM approach to treating and managing symptoms of ADHD.
• 15 - 30% of children don't respond to one particular chemical or component of stimulant medications.
• Some medications can take 4-6 weeks to show real improvement.

Wow! What a chapter. The only negative thing I can say (and this is being really particular) is that one part of the chapter becomes very technical - even for me who has training in academia and research. But that said - I still HIGHLY RECOMMEND this book.

Dr. Monastra takes an approach and view towards ADHD that not many psychologists - let alone physicians do - on diagnosing and treating ADHD. I really like this book so far.

Book Review - Parenting Children With ADHD

New Feature:

One of my goals this year is to learn even more about ADHD - and to do so means that I need to read what other people are writing about. I need to know what other information you are hearing from different sources, beyond that of what I think.

So, that said, I am going to read up on any book that I think might be relevant to ADHD and children. No topic is off limits. Given the controversial and varying perspectives on ADHD, I am NOT going to limit myself to just medical themed books on ADHD. I am going to try and cover the whole range.

Book #1

Parenting Children With ADHD:
10 Lessons That Medicine Cannot Teach

By, Vincent J. Monastra, PhD

This is a fairly recent publication from the American Psychological Association. It's a fairly compact softcover book that looks to be an easy read.

It has excellent reviews both online and of course on the cover.

Review So Far...

This format might change as I go on, but for the time being, I will review the book as I read it and update once a week. I will then close out the review with a overall reflection on the book, the material, and it's relevance.

As of this morning, I have read the 'Introduction' and 'Chapter 1.' Without getting into too much detail, I like the tone that is set from the very beginning. The author / psychologist sets the stage for his expertise and why you should listen to him. What I really like the most, so far, is that author acknowledges the multitude of theories and messages that parents are bombarded with everyday.

I also like the fact that Dr. Monastra talks about the importance of a comprehensive medical exam and diagnostic evaluation. Because the symptoms of ADHD are not unique to this disorder alone, a thorough medical exam can reveal or rule out any additional medical causes contributing to your child's behavior.

Audio Interview - ADHD Success Tips

In this almost 60-minute interview, my good friend (who also just happens to be a Licensed Psychologist) reveals his 15 year personal struggle with ADHD.

I have been pleading with him for a few months now to make this happen. Having witnessed his struggles and personal victories firsthand, I knew he would reveal a wealth of information about ADHD.

I want you to know - there is no holding back in this interview. Together, we covered a lot of ground - some of it totally unexpected. For example, Matt is the first person (professional or other) who finally revealed how medication can be helpful, while at the same time sharing his limited use of medication over the lifetime of his diagnosis.

That's just the beginning. In this interview, you will hear:

• How my friend had to look inside himself to find strength.



• How he had to rely on his strengths, and leverage the strengths of others in order to achieve great success.



• 7+ strategies for successfully managing symptoms of ADHD.



• The 1 "critical factor" that likely made the difference in his success.



• The 3 most important "gifts" a parent possesses and can give their child.



• And so much more...

To gain access to this interview, just sign up below:

This interview is just loaded with information. After listening to the call again - I have a 5-page outline of the information contained within this interview.

If you are a parent who struggles with a child who has either been diagnosed with ADHD or who suspects their child might exhibit symptoms of ADHD, then you will want to listen to this interview.

Happy New Year!

It's 2008 - I can hardly believe it!

I didn't anticipate taking the entire holiday vacation off from blog posting, but it just sort of happened. And it felt good!

It felt good to take a break.

But I have to admit - there was a big part of me that missed the interaction. I missed writing and sharing information.

Thank goodness 2008 is upon us!

So, what do you have planned for the New Year?

Resolutions Vs. Goals

This time of year we hear alot about setting "resoltuions," but I like goals better. Goals can work anytime, and truthfully, most of us give up on resolutions rather quickly. We just get busy and throw them aside.

So, what goal(s) do you have for the New Year?

• What would you like to be different about this year?
• What do you want to change in your life?

To get started, choose 1 reasonable goal and work towards it everyday. It's just that simple! There is no failure - only success when you reach your goal, OR when you notice a change.

In the meantime, I will be back to check in with you that goal.

My Goals:

I have a great deal planned for this blog, my ADHD newsletter, and the information I am going to share with you all in the months to come. Part of me wants to give you a teaser, but then again, there is an even greater part of me who wants to show you - rather than tell you!

Keep your eyes peeled. It's gonna be a wild ride.

P.S. - I will return to the regular format later this week to continue where I left off!

ADHD And The Holiday Spirit

Strike that...

ADHD & The Holiday "Attitude!"

No matter what has happened this year, or in previous years, most of us look forward to the holiday season. People travel to be with family, and there is a great deal of emphasis (perhaps even pressure) to make the holidays full of joy and happiness.

Having never been a huge fan of holidays, my wife taught that Christmas to her family is more about getting together and enjoying each other's company, than it is anything else. You see, my immediate family does nothing but argue, criticize, and ridicule each other about the lives we lead, the choices we make, and most of all how are children behave. So it's with great reservation that I look forward to holidays.

Joy And Happiness

Despite the pressure to make things "perfect," the holidays inevitably soon become about stress and frustration. I have tried otherwise, and it just never seems to make a difference. There is always something that is said or taken too literally or too offensively, despite the unintended nature.

But what really does it for me is when someone has a comment about my child... Or when someone questions my authority as the parent of my child... Or when someone makes "suggestions" about how I raise my children or talk to them...

Does this sound familiar?

No one is perfect! And I am willing to bet that suggestions are meant with the best intentions, but sadly the delivery is always lacking.

That Holiday Attitude...

While the holidays are meant to be full of joy and peace, many parents struggle with the constant criticism and overbearing attitude that sometimes accompanies family gatherings. Whether it is your parents, a sibling, cousin, or friend, it never seems to get overlooked.

Someone... Somewhere... Sometime...

...has something to say about how your child is behaving, carrying on, or perhaps about how the choices you make.

I have noticed that it is the worst when we as parents are bombarded with comments, critiques, or recommendations that something must be wrong with our child.

Suddenly the holidays have become not about peace and togetherness, but about our overwhelming belief that we want to hear opinions... We want to be criticized, and we want to be questioned about everything we do.

I'm NOT quite certain where some people get this belief - but it happens (all too much).

When you have a child with ADHD, the last thing you need is grief during your brief time off or your time away from work. Instead...you end up with attitude and often times turn out to be the ingrate of the family!

Starting To Understand ADHD

What Should Happen!

Wouldn't it be great if when someone says to you, "You're child needs to be evaluated for ADHD," that instead of just dumping it in your lap - someone actually told you what that meant and what it entailed?

You deserve:

• Specific information
• Detailed behaviors
• Explicit (and implicit) concerns
• Examples of situations
• Support and care
• Team approach
• Positive outlook
• Successful strategies that work
  

ADHD

To many people, ADHD is dropped in their lap as if it is a curse or burden on people around them. Unfortunately, like so many things in life - we don't understand or tolerate what is different. We have no patience - nor is it built into our lives to have patience for what is not "normal..."

The truth is - ADHD requires nothing more than an adjustment in how we view the world and in how we go about our daily routine. It requires patience, understanding, support, love, and care!

If we approach ADHD or any other behavioral problem or concern with these factors, just imagine how different people might treat one another.

It's true!

Evaluation Process:

Between the time you are told "You're child must have ADHD," and the time you have an evaluation - the focus should really be spent on what is going on.

• What behaviors do you see?
• What behaviors do others see?
• When do they happen?
• Do they only happen in one setting?
• Or do they only happen at certain times?
  
• Has anything happened recently that could be a triggering event?
• Who else has observed these changes?
• Have they noticed anything different?
• Has anything happened to any of their friends?

This is just a little sampling of the questions you need to know to ask, before you can start understanding what is going on.

Stay tuned for Part II...

There is just too much information to share, so this will be continued next week.

ADHD Evaluation - What Steps Do You Take?

What Typically Happens...

Talk about a difficult, and often times frustrating experience. Here is a situation where people are telling you that your child has "behavioral problems," and needs to be evaluated for ADHD, yet so many questions follow:

• Where do you start?
• Who do you see?
• Who do you reach out to for help?
• How do you know you are getting a qualified expert?
• What type of information are you going to find out?
• How much time will you get with a psychiatrist?
• Does your child need therapy in addition to medication (if you choose that)?
• Who takes your insurance?
• What if it's not ADHD? (Do you even think that's possible)?

Talk about an overwhelming experience! And the questions above don't even consider all the thoughts racing through your head if you are a single parent, or if you are struggling financially, or are not aware of the alternatives.

How do you start, and where do you begin?

Two common approaches:

1. Call your physician - who recommends someone.
2. School professional makes a referral to a local clinic or office.

While referrals are important - how do you know who you are seeing? What arrangements have people made? How qualified is the person you are seeing?

Let's be honest, we trust qualified professionals without considering the answers to our questions. And we quite possibly trust these professionals without even wondering who we are seeing - or what their experience is.

A third option:

Many people also call their insurance companies first - looking for help.

Are you overwhelmed yet?

I sure am from thinking about this process!

Just consider the steps involved with this process, and you have not even seen anyone yet. You still don't know what's going on.

And now you are informed that it will be at least 6-8 weeks before there is an opening to meet with a child psychiatrist... But, your child's pediatrician might offer to see him or her in the meantime and offer to do a brief evaluation and prescribe some medications.

Lesson here - there is a process within this system.

Both medical and mental health professionals are accustomed to doing things a certain way. There is paperwork to be filled out, certain criteria to be met, and common diagnoses and medications to be given.

The worst part of all this - what do you do in the meantime?

How do you get your sanity back and know what is going on for sure?

What Makes You Think It's ADHD?

Here's what should happen:

People should care and demonstrate concern! People should ask questions, and provide support, rather than blame and point the finger.

Earlier this week, I wrote a little bit about how some parents face the oftentimes overwhelming flood of, "Your child must have ADHD" comments.

Parents hear it from teachers...from coaches...from family members...and even from friends.

But what makes everyone so qualified?

And what's even worse - is that in many cases, there is very little subtly or tact.

Instead, people have become so busy, so opinionated, that we just shove things down one anothers throats.

Well, I want to know what happened to compassion, support, and understanding?

It's what you deserve...

And that's the approach people should try.

Instead of blame - let's inquire.
Instead of pointing the finger - let's explore.
Instead of jumping to conclusions - let's examine life.

Everyone deserves the benefit of the doubt. Everyone deserves a little compassion and understanding, particularly when it comes to their children.

ADHD Gets Serious!

Pointing out that someone has ADHD, rather than expressing concern, makes a great number of assumptions... This is particularly true when it comes from someone who is either not qualified, not trained, or simply not asking the right questions.

And that's the key - let's spend more time asking the right questions.

Let's spend more time trying to understand the circumstances, and what might be going on - rather than the needless (and endless) pursuit of trying to label our children.

Next week - we'll talk about "Looking For Help."

ADHD Rears It's Ugly Head

Here's What Typically Happens:

The circumstances leading up are always different. It can be a fight at school - talking back to a teacher, grades slipping, loss of interest, increased "uneasiness," or a whole variety of problematic behavior or results.

But you know what?

The results are typically same.

It doesn't matter who it comes from first - but once it starts - you'll soon hear it from everyone. It begins with a shy whispher and quickly generates a radical buzz and a cave-in of calls and complaints.

"You're child must have ADHD!"

Or perhaps you get it straight this way:

"What are you going to do about this child?"

Or, maybe this:

"You had better get your child evaluated..."

Without warning (although there are usually signs) - your life will become invaded by suggestions that your child is suffering from ADHD, or perhaps some other type of behavioral disorder.

Everyone will help point the finger - but only a few will have the immediate, constructive support you so badly need.

Those of you with family or a spouse, at least have one another to juggle the responsibility of taking this on.

But - even then it doesn't matter if your lives are in disarray or disrepair - the stress that has invaded your lives is unwelcome, unwanted, and without warning about to change everything.

Even the most stable of family units can be torn apart by this onslaught and almost finger pointing reaction from everyone around you.

It's not necessarily meant to come across this way, but it does, and it hurts.

Later this week - we'll talk about how people really should approach you, and what you can do to better handle everyone who has such strong opinions!

Until then - hang in there!

ADHD: Conspiracy Theories Or Fact Of Life?

There are many people out there - sending various different messages about ADHD:

• Strength - Gift
• Natural Cures And Remedies
• Pharmaceutical Company Agenda
• Psychiatry Is Evil
• Brain Based Disorder
• Behavioral Disorder
• Misdiagnosis
• Label / Statistic

Which one are you following the most?

Me? I don't believe in black and white - nothing is that simple.

The world we live in exists in shades of grey...

Everything falls on a spectrum - somewhere in the middle.

Regardless of what you believe about ADHD - it is very much real. You can choose to fight it, choose to ignore it, or simply choose to learn the game and play the best you can.

Some truths:

• Medication is typically the first recommendation for treating ADHD
• Pharmaceutical companies heavily recruit and market to medical doctors
• Medical disorders are typically treated with medication.

Truth #1 - ADHD or Not

Regardless of whether you, your child, or a loved one really has ADHD - there is ALWAYS something else happening.

There are always problems at home or problems at school or problems with self-esteem, self-worth, and self-representation or problems with society - not fitting in - not having enough - not feeling loved.

I could ramble on and on about all the other things that can contribute to - reinforce - and even mimic ADHD symptoms.

My message to you, as always:

What does your gut tell you?

Is it ADHD alone? Is it some other behavioral / medical / mental health disorder?

Or could it just be as simple as something right in front of our eyes that we are too emotionally attached to or close to - to see?

What else could be going on that makes everything else think it's ADHD?

It's All In What You See

A Terrible Loss

Leading up to the Thanksgiving holiday, my wife and her family were handed a devastating blow. My wife's grandmother passed, unexpectedly. While she was 90 years old and lived an incredible life, she was also the foundation and rock to this large family. Grandma's legacy includes 3 children, 8 grandchildren, and 13 great-grandchildren. I was fortunate to have known her for 10 wonderful years. She was one of those rare people who impacted and touched everybody's life she encountered. It didn't matter if you knew her for a day or if you knew her for a lifetime.

Life And How You See It

Last Monday evening brought us to the calling hours and wake for my wife's grandmother. It was a rough night for many, as I am sure you can imagine. Family and friends gathered to remember a wonderful life and a terrible loss.

But for me, things were a little different. I didn't have a chance to grieve or to cry. I loved Grandma dearly and life was not the same knowing she would not be physically present to impact my life and the life of our two children. And that's when it happened...

My father-in-law's business partner approached me, and said the following:

"I never expected to walk in, and see you with a big grin on your face."

I responded, best I could, "I have two beautiful (young) children to look after and they are just so full of life."

Our two-year-old daughter was the belle of the ball. She captured the hearts and minds of everyone who walked in the door. She was so well behaved, yet also seemingly knew just when to crack a smile or laugh. Perhaps the best was when she would comfort my mother-in-law or go looking for Kermit - my mother-in-law's oldest brother. She literally took sobbing people and brought smiles to their faces in the hardest of times.

Not to mention the impact our 2-month-old son had as well. Everyone saw the innocence and life brimming from his soft coo's and gentle smiles.

Your Vantage Point

My father-in-law's business partner really did make the strongest point of the week.

"I never expected to see you smiling, when I walked in the door."

And again, that's when I realized it's all what you see.

I will not pretend to suggest we live life as an optimist or that you run out and find the good amidst the bad or evil in the world. While it is certainly easier being positive and optimistic, it is more beneficial when it is real.

No, I won't do that...

I want to share that life is all about how you see things... How you experience things... And that's what my most recent article suggests. It's the difference that perhaps took me from an average kid to be diagnosed with ADHD to someone who was given a gift - a gift of hope, support, and unwavering belief.

This article talks about the difference between being idntified as "gifted" versus being labeled with "ADHD."

There are lots of similarities.
There are lots of differneces.

But neither of these really matter or are important.

Instead, what does matter is:

1. How you build yourself up and view yourself
2. How people treat you and respond to you

That's how reality exists... Not in optimism or pessimism, but rather in reality and how we see ourselves amongst the rest of the world.

"Our thoughts create our reality."
-Author Unknown

Are Medications Really Necessary For My Child?

One the most frequently asked questions I receive relates to whether or not a child really needs medication for his or her behaviors - or behavioral problems - depending upon how you look at it.

The unfortunate answer I have to give parents is: "It depends."

I have often said that I am against medications as a first line of defense or treatment in behavioral disorders, particularly in young children and adolescents.

While medications certainly have their use, I have seen far too many cases where children, adolescents, and even adults are medicated when they might not really need to be.

Diagnoses and illnesses like ADHD, depression, and bipolar disorder are far too real. Their implications are also far too real for couples, families, and children.

However, they exist in very small percentages of the population. Yet these diagnoses are popular today and frequently assigned to people with behaviors and symptoms that mirror the classifications and criteria for diagnosis.

"The Real World"

I would like to share a brief story with you about why it is so important to consider what else is going on before making the leap to medicating your child.

While working at a hospital, I was assigned the case of an 18 year old African American male. He was recently transferred from an adolescent unit, to the adult criminal section of the hospital among career criminals and persons diagnosed with persistent major mental illness.

He was diagnosed with Depression, and his treatment staff was concerned about his withdrawn behavior, unwillingness to participate in groups, and his apparent lack of interest to interact socially.

All classic signs of depression.

Yet, when I met with him, he was outgoing, energetic, connected, and all too real. I tried to explain this to his treatment staff, but I was apparently the only person who recognized the additional circumstances that led to my understanding of his situation.

I asked myself one simple question:

"If I were 18 years old, how would I respond in this situation?"

What I realized was that even at my age (older than 18), I would have likely responded the same way as he did.

The Moral:

My patient was anything but depressed.

Instead, he was an 18-year-old male who was likely frightened by his surroundings and the sudden change from being surrounded by his peers and friends (that he had made) to a population of criminals who had spent most of their adults lives behind bars.

While my patient did need a specific regiment of medication, he was grossly misunderstood.

As I always, I encourage you to first ask yourself: "What else might be contributing to my child's behavior?"

Look in the mirror if you have to, even if it hurts to acknowledge that your life might be impacting your child.

It's not to say you are to blame.

Sugar, Screaming, And Being Kicked Out Of School

Sweet as sugar?

Some clarification might be needed:

This morning I wrote an article about a 3-year old boy whose parents and pre-school teachers were certain their son had ADHD.

He exhibited all the behaviors, and then some. For some time, it was sounding as if the child might be suffering from quite a number of different problems, least of all being ADHD. There was some concern about the child's aggressive behavior towards his peers at school and his own siblings.

This seemed to be a clear cut case of a child struggling with ADHD.

But, as the article continued, it revealed something unexpected.

Dad decided to remove all sugar from his son's diet to see what, if any, impact that might have on his child's behavior.

The shocking outcome was that this little boy who was once terrorizing his siblings and peers at school (and even his parents at home), was now behaving like a totally different child.

The story here:

When speaking with this father, I grilled him about what events in his life or his son's life could be impacting and influencing his behavior.

The moral:

I do not necessarily believe all the hype about sugar and having a better diet or better lifestyle to supposedly "cure" ADHD or other related disorders.

In fact, I don't know what I believe about that. I personally follow the literature that says ADHD is biologically based and that ADHD should be treated by medication.

At the same time, I do firmly advocate that you should consider the bigger picture before making the leap that someone has ADHD.

What this means for you:

• You are tired
• You are frustrated
• You are stressed out
• You have no time for yourself
• Life is running wild
• You want to be free

These are all possibilities for you.

All I ask, or rather suggest, is that you find a peer, colleague, or professional who can help you step aside from what is going on and driving you crazy...

So that you can evaluate the situation and see what else might be contributing to or the cause behind what might appear to be ADHD.