Emotional & Physically Exhausted - ADHD

Well, here goes another "video" message. I am really enjoying this new technology and being able to connect with you via different mediums.

Anyway - Today I wanted to talk to you just very briefly about emotional and physical exhaustion.

After focusing my energy and resources on the "big game," I crashed this morning and did not have enough energy to focus on what I needed to do at home and at work. I was too "burnt out" from exerting and spending too much energy focused on the big game.

Check out the video message - I think the message speaks for itself.





As always, you are encouraged to post comments and questions below. You are also more than welcome to contact me directly.

See you soon!


Rory F. Stern, PsyD

Super Bowl, Superstars, & ADHD

It's no surprise that most of the modern world (global community) will be tuned into the same one television program tonight.

Heck, you might even be one of the millions (if not billions) of people watching tomorrow night's NFL Super Bowl extravaganza.

I know I will be glued to my television set tomorrow afternoon and evening. Living outside of Boston, I have a very strong interest in watching history as my local team strives for a "perfect record" (not perfection, but a perfect record).

On top of that, I absolutely have to watch the commercials. I live for Super Bowl commercials. It's the one time of year advertisers compete like crazy to get your attention.

Reasons to watch the Super Bowl:

Football

Half-Time

Commercials

Watch History

Family Time

You see - while millions and millions will be glued to their televisions tomorrow night, many of us will be doing it for different reasons.

And the same is real for people struggling with ADHD:

Inattention

Hyperactivity

Impulsive

Bored

Unorganized

All Over The Place

Strength

Natural Cures

The above list takes the very same idea of who watches the Super Bowl, and why, with the hope to show you that ADHD means different things to many people.

While we might all agree that ADHD affects the brain and how people are able to function, individuals with ADHD all experience their symptoms differently and might even go about managing them differently.

But the real lesson here is that you might see your ADHD differently than the next person.

And that's ok!

PS - I mentioned something about a perfect record:

Oh yea - and let's not forget that in tomorrow's Super Bowl - the New England Patriots are pursuing a "perfect season." Notice, they are not a perfect team - just good enough to be going for a perfect record.

The difference:

The perfect record is a result of fighting, working hard, determination, and persistence. They never gave up. But they did make mistakes!

More About "The Truth Behind ADHD"

When I started writing this blog - I had a pretty good sense of what I wanted to talk about, and where I wanted to go.

It all started with the idea that there are many truths behind ADHD. It doesn't matter whether you are a parent, spouse, partner, child, or sibling of someone who has ADHD - there is a great deal of misinformation.

The TRUTH Behind ADHD started with the idea that there is more to ADHD than just what is on the surface. Not only do we have to struggle with symptoms, consider treatment with medication, but we also have to consider every other area of life that is impacted by ADHD:

1. Relationships
   
2. Family
   
3. Work
   
4. School
   
5. Groups
   
6. Self-esteem
   
7. Media influence
   
8. Society
   
9. And much, much more...
   

The point is this - ADHD affects so much more than the individual person who is diagnosed with the disorder.

Heck - let's not even call it a disorder. I downright hate that term. ADHD is a grouping of symptoms that can either help you or hurt you.

Help - learn how to manage and use your personal strengths to find success.

Hurt - use ADHD as an excuse and do nothing.

This all leads to the original "truth" I posted about when I started writing. The original truth relates to finding the root cause of our underlying problems.

ADHD is not it folks - there is always something more... Some other stress in our lives... Some other source of discomfort...

And we cannot forget those.

The "new" Truth is that you are surrounded by too much information about ADHD. You are provided with information that leaves you:

Overwhelmed

Confused

Uncertain

And possibly even misguided...

Well, no more.

The Truth Behind ADHD will make sure you get the right information, from the right sources. And even then - we are going to question everything.

Oops - I Skipped Over Chapter 2

I don't know how I did it - but it looks like I skipped right over reviewing Chapter 2 for you all. Oops!

I am so glad I caught this, because Chapter 2 has some great content.

Chapter 2:

"Parenting Doesn't Cause ADHD - Genes Do."

Dr. Monastra reviews and dispels some of the major myths around parenting as a cause of ADHD. Well, as you might be wondering - parenting or parenting style does NOT cause ADHD.
Instead, it is our genetics that we pass down which is said to be responsible for ADHD.

Much of the remainder of Chapter 2 is spent talking about the very scientific, technical aspects of what is believed to cause ADHD. There are some interesting points in there - but when you are looking to help your child, this is NOT the part of the chapter that does it. However, I cannot stress enough the importance of digesting this information so you can understand what we believe causes ADHD.

Perhaps the most useful part of Chapter is towards the end, where Dr. Monastra discusses effective treatment. In his opinion (and I agree), effective treatment includes a combination of techniques.

This can include medication (but NOT always), along with therapy, education, social skills classes, parenting classes (to learn strategies to help your child), and the development of a communication channel with school professionals to better assist your child with his or her learning habits or struggles.

Well - that's it. I must say there were some really GREAT strategies mixed with some very powerful content. Just watch out for the technical part, and focus on getting a general idea of how our bodies work and this relationship with ADHD.

In closing, I want to add that this content is reviewed from Dr. Monastra's book, "Parenting Children With ADHD." Like in previous posts, I have pulled out what I have found to be useful and important. However, there could be incredible information that I overlooked which might pertain to your individual situation.

Disclaimer:

That said, I always want to share that I added the part about medication not always being necessary. Remember folks, medication can and does make a difference with many children struggling with ADHD. And - as always, please do not make any changes without first speaking with your treating physician, psychiatrist, therapist, or other direct care professional.

Book Review - Parenting Children With ADHD

New Feature:

One of my goals this year is to learn even more about ADHD - and to do so means that I need to read what other people are writing about. I need to know what other information you are hearing from different sources, beyond that of what I think.

So, that said, I am going to read up on any book that I think might be relevant to ADHD and children. No topic is off limits. Given the controversial and varying perspectives on ADHD, I am NOT going to limit myself to just medical themed books on ADHD. I am going to try and cover the whole range.

Book #1

Parenting Children With ADHD:
10 Lessons That Medicine Cannot Teach

By, Vincent J. Monastra, PhD

This is a fairly recent publication from the American Psychological Association. It's a fairly compact softcover book that looks to be an easy read.

It has excellent reviews both online and of course on the cover.

Review So Far...

This format might change as I go on, but for the time being, I will review the book as I read it and update once a week. I will then close out the review with a overall reflection on the book, the material, and it's relevance.

As of this morning, I have read the 'Introduction' and 'Chapter 1.' Without getting into too much detail, I like the tone that is set from the very beginning. The author / psychologist sets the stage for his expertise and why you should listen to him. What I really like the most, so far, is that author acknowledges the multitude of theories and messages that parents are bombarded with everyday.

I also like the fact that Dr. Monastra talks about the importance of a comprehensive medical exam and diagnostic evaluation. Because the symptoms of ADHD are not unique to this disorder alone, a thorough medical exam can reveal or rule out any additional medical causes contributing to your child's behavior.

Are Medications Really Necessary For My Child?

One the most frequently asked questions I receive relates to whether or not a child really needs medication for his or her behaviors - or behavioral problems - depending upon how you look at it.

The unfortunate answer I have to give parents is: "It depends."

I have often said that I am against medications as a first line of defense or treatment in behavioral disorders, particularly in young children and adolescents.

While medications certainly have their use, I have seen far too many cases where children, adolescents, and even adults are medicated when they might not really need to be.

Diagnoses and illnesses like ADHD, depression, and bipolar disorder are far too real. Their implications are also far too real for couples, families, and children.

However, they exist in very small percentages of the population. Yet these diagnoses are popular today and frequently assigned to people with behaviors and symptoms that mirror the classifications and criteria for diagnosis.

"The Real World"

I would like to share a brief story with you about why it is so important to consider what else is going on before making the leap to medicating your child.

While working at a hospital, I was assigned the case of an 18 year old African American male. He was recently transferred from an adolescent unit, to the adult criminal section of the hospital among career criminals and persons diagnosed with persistent major mental illness.

He was diagnosed with Depression, and his treatment staff was concerned about his withdrawn behavior, unwillingness to participate in groups, and his apparent lack of interest to interact socially.

All classic signs of depression.

Yet, when I met with him, he was outgoing, energetic, connected, and all too real. I tried to explain this to his treatment staff, but I was apparently the only person who recognized the additional circumstances that led to my understanding of his situation.

I asked myself one simple question:

"If I were 18 years old, how would I respond in this situation?"

What I realized was that even at my age (older than 18), I would have likely responded the same way as he did.

The Moral:

My patient was anything but depressed.

Instead, he was an 18-year-old male who was likely frightened by his surroundings and the sudden change from being surrounded by his peers and friends (that he had made) to a population of criminals who had spent most of their adults lives behind bars.

While my patient did need a specific regiment of medication, he was grossly misunderstood.

As I always, I encourage you to first ask yourself: "What else might be contributing to my child's behavior?"

Look in the mirror if you have to, even if it hurts to acknowledge that your life might be impacting your child.

It's not to say you are to blame.