More About "The Truth Behind ADHD"

When I started writing this blog - I had a pretty good sense of what I wanted to talk about, and where I wanted to go.

It all started with the idea that there are many truths behind ADHD. It doesn't matter whether you are a parent, spouse, partner, child, or sibling of someone who has ADHD - there is a great deal of misinformation.

The TRUTH Behind ADHD started with the idea that there is more to ADHD than just what is on the surface. Not only do we have to struggle with symptoms, consider treatment with medication, but we also have to consider every other area of life that is impacted by ADHD:

1. Relationships
   
2. Family
   
3. Work
   
4. School
   
5. Groups
   
6. Self-esteem
   
7. Media influence
   
8. Society
   
9. And much, much more...
   

The point is this - ADHD affects so much more than the individual person who is diagnosed with the disorder.

Heck - let's not even call it a disorder. I downright hate that term. ADHD is a grouping of symptoms that can either help you or hurt you.

Help - learn how to manage and use your personal strengths to find success.

Hurt - use ADHD as an excuse and do nothing.

This all leads to the original "truth" I posted about when I started writing. The original truth relates to finding the root cause of our underlying problems.

ADHD is not it folks - there is always something more... Some other stress in our lives... Some other source of discomfort...

And we cannot forget those.

The "new" Truth is that you are surrounded by too much information about ADHD. You are provided with information that leaves you:

Overwhelmed

Confused

Uncertain

And possibly even misguided...

Well, no more.

The Truth Behind ADHD will make sure you get the right information, from the right sources. And even then - we are going to question everything.

Book Review - Parenting Children With ADHD

New Feature:

One of my goals this year is to learn even more about ADHD - and to do so means that I need to read what other people are writing about. I need to know what other information you are hearing from different sources, beyond that of what I think.

So, that said, I am going to read up on any book that I think might be relevant to ADHD and children. No topic is off limits. Given the controversial and varying perspectives on ADHD, I am NOT going to limit myself to just medical themed books on ADHD. I am going to try and cover the whole range.

Book #1

Parenting Children With ADHD:
10 Lessons That Medicine Cannot Teach

By, Vincent J. Monastra, PhD

This is a fairly recent publication from the American Psychological Association. It's a fairly compact softcover book that looks to be an easy read.

It has excellent reviews both online and of course on the cover.

Review So Far...

This format might change as I go on, but for the time being, I will review the book as I read it and update once a week. I will then close out the review with a overall reflection on the book, the material, and it's relevance.

As of this morning, I have read the 'Introduction' and 'Chapter 1.' Without getting into too much detail, I like the tone that is set from the very beginning. The author / psychologist sets the stage for his expertise and why you should listen to him. What I really like the most, so far, is that author acknowledges the multitude of theories and messages that parents are bombarded with everyday.

I also like the fact that Dr. Monastra talks about the importance of a comprehensive medical exam and diagnostic evaluation. Because the symptoms of ADHD are not unique to this disorder alone, a thorough medical exam can reveal or rule out any additional medical causes contributing to your child's behavior.

What Makes You Think It's ADHD?

Here's what should happen:

People should care and demonstrate concern! People should ask questions, and provide support, rather than blame and point the finger.

Earlier this week, I wrote a little bit about how some parents face the oftentimes overwhelming flood of, "Your child must have ADHD" comments.

Parents hear it from teachers...from coaches...from family members...and even from friends.

But what makes everyone so qualified?

And what's even worse - is that in many cases, there is very little subtly or tact.

Instead, people have become so busy, so opinionated, that we just shove things down one anothers throats.

Well, I want to know what happened to compassion, support, and understanding?

It's what you deserve...

And that's the approach people should try.

Instead of blame - let's inquire.
Instead of pointing the finger - let's explore.
Instead of jumping to conclusions - let's examine life.

Everyone deserves the benefit of the doubt. Everyone deserves a little compassion and understanding, particularly when it comes to their children.

ADHD Gets Serious!

Pointing out that someone has ADHD, rather than expressing concern, makes a great number of assumptions... This is particularly true when it comes from someone who is either not qualified, not trained, or simply not asking the right questions.

And that's the key - let's spend more time asking the right questions.

Let's spend more time trying to understand the circumstances, and what might be going on - rather than the needless (and endless) pursuit of trying to label our children.

Next week - we'll talk about "Looking For Help."

ADHD Rears It's Ugly Head

Here's What Typically Happens:

The circumstances leading up are always different. It can be a fight at school - talking back to a teacher, grades slipping, loss of interest, increased "uneasiness," or a whole variety of problematic behavior or results.

But you know what?

The results are typically same.

It doesn't matter who it comes from first - but once it starts - you'll soon hear it from everyone. It begins with a shy whispher and quickly generates a radical buzz and a cave-in of calls and complaints.

"You're child must have ADHD!"

Or perhaps you get it straight this way:

"What are you going to do about this child?"

Or, maybe this:

"You had better get your child evaluated..."

Without warning (although there are usually signs) - your life will become invaded by suggestions that your child is suffering from ADHD, or perhaps some other type of behavioral disorder.

Everyone will help point the finger - but only a few will have the immediate, constructive support you so badly need.

Those of you with family or a spouse, at least have one another to juggle the responsibility of taking this on.

But - even then it doesn't matter if your lives are in disarray or disrepair - the stress that has invaded your lives is unwelcome, unwanted, and without warning about to change everything.

Even the most stable of family units can be torn apart by this onslaught and almost finger pointing reaction from everyone around you.

It's not necessarily meant to come across this way, but it does, and it hurts.

Later this week - we'll talk about how people really should approach you, and what you can do to better handle everyone who has such strong opinions!

Until then - hang in there!

Some People Have Asked...

"I still don't get what you mean by the truth behind ADHD..."

Honestly, I'm glad you have asked!

There is a whole lot more to this "truth" I speak of, and I have been struggling with how to explain it.

I just couldn't find the words when I started sharing this message.

Let me see what I can do here:

Simply put - The truth behind ADHD, is that 9 times out of 10 there is something more contributing to the behavior of your child than just these supposed symptoms and problem behaviors.

Some medical doctors refer to other problems as having a "co-morbid" existence, or in other words, there is another disorder or cluster of behaviors involved.

I am NOT necessarily referring to co-morbidity here.

Instead, I am talking about the overall context of life and the events that go on around us day to day.

A proper diagnosis is just about less than half the battle.

Let me say this a different way:

Once you have the diagnosis (or think you have a diagnosis), the real work is just beginning.

Regardless of whether or not you or your child (or if you are a teacher and you think a child has ADHD), the diagnosis alone does nothing.

Medication alone, in my most humble and honest opinion will do nothing more than cover up what is going on.

Imagine for a moment if your child's alleged ADHD was really a gift?

What if your child had endless creativity and just needed a better way to express that gift?

What if your child had sensory integration problems (difficulty with certain fabrics and touches)?

Just imagine the possibilities is all that I ask, before you point the finger and say: My child has ADHD.

That is the TRUTH Behind ADHD.

The real work, the real truth, is what is going on all around you and your child.

The real truth is what you do with a diagnosis of ADHD, or any other kind for that matter.

As always, keep your questions coming, and keep your eyes posted for what is about to unfold here.